22 July 2003
My pride will suffocate me
"Your pride will surely suffocate you if you still don't change..."The past moulds me into something that I ought not to be. When I was young, I was headstrong, the elders told me I am determined. When I was young, I was rash, the elders told me I am decisive. When I was young, I refuse to seek help, they told me I am independent. My pride will kill me one fine day.
And they had me believe that all my negative traits are good characteristics. Right now, I can't do a single thing to revert my mind back. It all boils down to my pride, ego, another word for it. Pride has made me sufficient, pride has made me independent, and pride has made me lost all the good things in life. Tell me is it worth it?
I always wanted to feel sufficient. So that I won't depend on anybody. Yes, I refuse to admit that I needed alot of things. I needed alot from others. This mouth won't even ask. Don't know why, probably it is the fear of being accused of taking advantage of others. Maybe it is the ego thingie.
Can I let go of this?
1:48 p.m. 
by ichigo