14 February 2005

Journey to memories

I was on the train just now, taking a long long way to somewhere far from where I live. On this long journey, I started thinking. Like so long ago which I used to deliberately take long trips to think. All the way, I spent the time thinking, reminicsing, daydreaming and probably remembering.

I started thinking about friends, I started to think about people who constantly put me down. I started to think about my devastating past. Not every single details that happened in my life was forgotten. Yeah, I think about each individual that enters my life and then out they went. Where are they now? I don't know.

I had a bad day at work. Boss constantly trying to brush up his vocabulary to put me down. It's okay. He can diss me in any sort of ways for I care. Because, words can't hurt me now. I'm so immune to all these demoralisations. I remember all the cold hard slaps on the face I got eversince young. How outcast I was. All the things that people said.... Why was I never good to people? Because people ain't nice. And he is another person that I hate.

I saw alot of couples on the way. And they were just mere teenagers. There were more teenage couples than adults. And I started to remember how teenage puppy love wrecked the whole life of some of my friends. Back then, they might be popular. Students looked at them green with envy. I sensed something amiss, friends thought I was jealous. But I guess I was wise enough to put my future at safe hands. Maybe I guess if she did not get into that relationship with that jerk, she would not be a whore now. I wonder how is she?

I remember the days of my life when I was left penniless for days. I was going around town with only 50 cents in my pocket and using an old rusty stolen bicycle as transport. My friends ain't diss me. They accompanied me. That was the most carefree days of my life. I remember how we used to laugh and laughter echoed through the sky.

And I think I must be the luckiest girl to have such a good boyfriend. Who waits for me at every destination. Who worries for me being apart from him. Who's always being the giving one when I threw my tantrums.

I should be stronger...

Happy V day.

8:09 p.m. . by ichigo