12 May 2005
Some thing I should do
Over the years, I let things slipped past me. I don't know when I suddenly become so forgetful. Maybe I'm getting senile. Or maybe I have decided to become the 'don't-bother' type of person. Life is like this, unimportant things became of your uninterest. Slowly things disintegrate.And relationship is one of them.
Over the years, I gained many new friendships, but I also lose some because I simply didn't try to put more effort to connect with people I lost touch with. And sometimes I can't believe that I am actually letting it past me like it is a natural process. Probably eversince young, I've seen too much friends come and go. Changing of schools.... Changing of classes.... Changing of enviroment. Friends who say I will be their best friend but ignore me when we split classes. What the hell. Too much stuff of that and now it feels so natural to let it come and go. Main thing is, put in less effort, less hurt in return.
Actions that were thoughtful and touching, no longer felt that way. That little thought is no longer at the back of my mind. Feelings becomes apparently invisible. Like what people categorized as living dead, I think I am one classic example.
Yesterday I felt the right thing to do. To wish a long lost friend a simple 'Happy Birthday'. I should have thank him that throughout the years he still remembers me as a friend, to send me lots of emails and smses without me replying for more than three years coming.
I have not wish anyone happy birthday for so long, not even myself. And that gesture instill some hope that I am still not to the level of cold hearted.
What am I anyway?
2:58 p.m. 
by ichigo