12 April 2005
It's my life
Life choices. Everyday is a decision-making day.Every outcome depends on what I decide to choose. Like in work, the projects finish or delay depends on what I decide now. One wrong choice made, monetary loss incurred, bosses hunt for your ass, customer's complaint. That's big time.
My life, I choose how I want to live. Sometimes I know what I want, sometimes I just go with the flow without any clue. Often I made lots of mistakes and I failed myself badly. I hit rock bottom but then I chose to learn from these mistakes and it took me to where I am right now. And maybe this is why I took much precautions now. I just want to be sure that I am doing what I had in mind and not to be influenced by others.
Family is the real cause of stress. Sometimes when you think of doing something that you want, they will inject alot of negativity in. And their words are the ones that affects badly. Over the years, there is not one choice that they won't resent. And throughout the years, I am so immune to their criticism and their 'what-if'. Felt like eversince young, I have been making choices by myself instead of them. There's not much support anyway. From pre-school to high school, I was thrown to think of what school to go into. I was made to think if I didn't do well, what would happen if I grew up.
I know what is best for me. Don't come the 'I eat salt more than you eat rice' theory to me. I deem selfish to everyone close to me. But I know, what I do now is for my own happiness. And I don't want anyone to destroy my goals of finding my true happiness and what I want in life. It's my life, so let me live it.
7:34 a.m. 
by ichigo