10 September 2006
Pain is necessary sometimes
Reading towards the end of this memoir The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls made me tear non-stop. Rather, the whole story makes me realize that we need hardships to grow. This is a good book to read, compared to all those trashy love novels. It talks about a childhood that is extraordinary, how Jeannette grew up from all sort of deserts, living humbly poorer than anyone can imagine, and then finding her way out of poverty and finally become somebody. The main line that captures my attention is how these kids, despite being raised up by an alcholic father and a selfish type of mother, survive through the bad times and still love and respect them as parents.That's something that I can never do in life. Imagine having such parents and still forgive them like nothing has happen.
I looked back on my years and see myself growing up as a determined, vengeful and angry teenager. While others are filled with love and compassion, I am only filled with hatre and revenge. I am determined, to carve myself out of poor state and to give myself a better tomorrow. All these anger make me finally touch this goal.
Then, life seems to get better over these years and suddenly I found myself becoming more like a wimp. Where have my sturdy hard self gone to over the years? It seems like a little hardship could bring me down. I wonder, do I need another major setback to relight my fire again and set me back on the right track. I think I needed that. But then again, will I survive that pain the same way like I endured before? I doubt so.
4:48 p.m. 
by ichigo